“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”
Psalm 34:18

I have always found great comfort in God’s word. No matter what storm I was facing, I knew that by opening my Bible I would find reassurance that everything would be okay. But what do you do when the pain and heartbreak is so severe and suffocating to the point that you can’t seem to muster up enough strength to do that? Trust me, I’ve been there and have experienced many days when all I could do was call on the name of Jesus.

As I continue to recover from the pain and trauma from my childhood, relationships and traditional ministry, I have learned that a part of me began to shy away from sounding too religious out of a deep and sincere desire to not make others feel as if I am projecting my beliefs upon them.

But if I’m honest, that’s not who I am. I am not just one thing and neither are you. I am a woman who loves God deeply and intimately who finds great joy in encouraging others on their journey. I find great fulfillment in teaching women how to establish their own relationship with God as well guiding them on how to navigate life’s difficulties. I can recall earlier on my journey being told that I needed to choose whether I was going to be a preacher or an entrepreneur. But why couldn’t I be and do both? I swear people will have you doubting who you are if you aren’t careful and for a long time I had lost myself by trying to become who everyone else wanted me to be. In religious circles I was pressured to show up as if I belonged and in the marketplace the same pressure was applied. I found myself becoming isolated due to the constant control of others in trying to make me be something and someone other than who I am which is simply, Carla.

When I shared my truth about being a woman of faith who also identifies as LGBTQ, I was invited to be a guest on a woman’s (who will remain nameless) online talk show. I originally accepted the invitation because I was preparing to release my thirteenth book, Journey to Finding Me: A Unique Path to Self-Discovery and thought that is what our discussion would be about. Throughout our conversation it was as if she wanted me to speak against “the church,” and I refused to do so. That was never my mission. I will speak against legalism, spiritual abuse and manipulation but I was not about to join her party as an “ex-Apostle” who was now into shamanism (among many other things– with no judgement on my end; people are free to believe what they want).

I remember leaving her show feeling angered and manipulated in being tricked to come on her show and her not follow the sample questions she had provided me with. I had managed to withhold my frustration during our conversation by politely doing my best to redirect her but it was clear that she had another agenda in mind. Following the show, I decided to go live and share how I would never bash “the church” because of my experiences because all pastoral leaders are not bad and neither are all churches. She in turn went live and acted oblivious to the whole thing. She was crying and everything. Talk about manipulation. However, I was not moved. I know what I saw, sensed (discerned) and felt. I was reading the comments and saw where someone said something to the magnitude of how I was defending religious people who would never accept me as an LGBTQ woman. I thought wow! No sir, what I am defending is the Gospel and that Jesus is REAL despite my concern with various translations; etc.

No matter people’s opinions of you I encourage you to be strong in HIS strength. Sure, there are Christians today that may never listen to another word I have to say because I shared my truth of being in love with my wife and that’s okay. Does it hurt? Of course. Because I am the same person who was privately in my relationship for half a decade, praying and prophesying to many of these same people. But I must go on. I can’t and won’t die here and neither will you.

I want you to know that no matter where you feel rejected or abandoned that God is always there. He is with you and the best part of your story has yet to be written. Sure, you’ll be misunderstood, people will try to discredit you, but God remains Supreme in the midst of it all. Therefore, place your trust in Him because people are mere mortals with frailties and imperfections. Some don’t realize how deep their words can cut but guess what? It won’t kill you. Why? Because you are Strong in HIS Strength. No longer waste precious energy trying to convince people of who you are versus who you aren’t. Give yourself permission to simply BE.

Being your authentic self is enough. Follow your convictions and trust God to guide you every step of the way and when the pain feels unbearable, it is then that He will carry you. Keep pushing through and allowing the Potter to make you into who He wants you to be! Stand strong my friend. Stand strong!

Encouraging Scriptures:

• “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrow. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
  – John 16:33
• “The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” – Romans 8:18
• “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” – Philippians 1:6
• “God has not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” – II Timothy 1:7
• “Walk by faith and not by sight.” – II Corinthians 5:7 
• “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” – Jeremiah 29:11
• “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

*For additional help on your journey, check out my book, Beloved: Experiencing God as Abba in a Fatherless Generation at www.CarlaCannon.com or wherever books are sold.*