Have you ever felt so alone and as if you were drowning in your sorrows while desiring deeply to find your set place in the world? Trust me I have been there and it’s not a fun place to be which is why I wrote this special message to serve as a reminder that you matter and to be careful not to place your worth into the hands of another human being.
One of the ways I have navigated through painful experiences was through sharing my story in an inspirational way. No matter how much pain we all experience, joy can be found if we will only choose to look for it.
I can recall many times I’ve heard others refer to me as if I had the perfect life or even say how they wish they were more like me. With a confused look I can recall thinking, “Alone?” “You want to be alone and feel as if you fit absolutely nowhere?” There have been more times than I can count where people surrounded me and yet I would still feel as if I was standing alone. The motives of others have often been questionable. People I poured my heart and soul out to in return only repeated the same patterns and behaviors of previous offenders.
After a while, you can begin to shut down as a way of protecting yourself, but then you find yourself alone with your thoughts and experiences while asking yourself, “Was any of it worth it?” There are unimaginable aches and pains that I carry deep within my soul that no one would ever imagine. No matter how much I’ve shared, in the end, I still felt misunderstood and even asked myself why did I even open up in the first place.
There comes a point in life when you begin to question everything. In a world filled with so many theories, theologies, rules and expectations it can all become a bit overwhelming.That’s where writing comes in for me. I was recently reading Mariah Carey’s new memoir, “The Meaning of Mariah Carey,” and found myself feeling seen and heard as I journeyed through the pages of her book. Although she has no clue who I am I could relate to her so deeply as she penned her pain through the eyes of her inner child. I felt every emotion to the point that I had to pause and take several deep breaths before moving on.
As an empath I now understand that when I feel things so deeply, it’s usually not only my own concerns that I am carrying, but others as well, and I’ve had to learn to pause and pray even if I have no face to go with the unbearable pain that tends to overtake my body at times. I later learned that this is the truth path of a Healer.
My safe place has always been within the pages of a book, in my journey or writing my own stories
So many thoughts…
So many questions…
Not enough answers…
In the midst of it all, I’ve had to make a decision to continue getting up each day and putting one foot in front of the other. There are times when I question or even wonder why my path has consisted of so many twists and turns in the way that it has.
Why did I trust that person?
Why didn’t he or she not like me?
Why didn’t I fit in with that group?
Why did this happen?
Why did I respond that way?
Why didn’t they protect me?
Again, so many questions.
Not enough answers.
I wrote this message for you. The person who currently feels alone, misunderstood and unappreciated. Perhaps you have been wondering what the heck God is doing in your life right now because everything feels as if it’s at a standstill. I am reminded of a saying I would often teach my clients, “Just because there may appear to be no movement, doesn’t mean God is not moving.” (Reading this made me smile.)
Maybe you’re wondering…
What now?
What’s next?
How will things work out?
Here’s what I want you to know. Worrying never fixed an ounce of problems. There are times when you may feel as if you are in the shadows but the great thing about God is although at times He may be silent, He is right there with you.
Quiet your spirit…
Quiet your soul…
Open your heart…
Allow whatever comes up to come out…
The problem is too often we judge ourselves too harshly instead of allowing what is to simply be. I admit I don’t have all the answers and my life is by no means perfect, but here’s what I want you to know. You are exactly where you are meant to be.
If it’s quiet or a silent season for you, maybe God wants you to lend Him your ear so He can speak to you. In a world filled with so many distractions and people on and offline telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, who you should or shouldn’t be, it can become a bit overwhelming.
But take a moment friend and embrace the space knowing that your God from on High resides there with you…
In the Shadows…
1 Comment
I needed to read this today ! Got me 🥲🥹 n tears ; this is so me. I wanted to say , “Thank you for sharing this; powerful!”💚