What is the theory of an inner child?
To me it is the general idea that we all have a childlike aspect within our unconscious mind. The “Inner child” can be seen as a ‘sub personality,’ a side of our character that can take over when we are faced with a challenge.”
The inner child reflects the child we once were in both negative and positive aspects. I believe we all have a little girl or boy living within us.
The question is, ‘is he or she healed, whole and healthy?”
How can I tell that an inner girl needs healing?
Our actions, perspective and current mindset reveal the state the inner child is in. This can be established through cycles, habits behaviors, and also triggers.
What are the dangers of not healing the inner child?
-Lack of self-confidence
-Lack of belief; etc.
Every aspect of our lives are affected when the little girl or little boy within is NOT healed, whole and healthy.
For example: I suffered from abandonment and rejection during my childhood and my experience has been that everyone who loves me eventually leaves whether through physical death or disconnection. Or at least that’s the tape I’ve had on repeat for most of my life until I learned I had the power to change the narrative!
Because I created this narrative and the little girl within feasted on it daily, my outer experience led to self-sabotage; meaning I would push people away before they got to close, as a way of “protecting myself.” In the end I was left with the same wounds, alone, lonely and even further away from my healing.
How do I make my inner child feel safe?
1. Being honest with him/her and NOT dismiss what you feel- Being dismissive is also a form of avoidance.
2. Embrace the fact that she or he is a part of you- We are multifaceted and our inner core is a little girl or boy who is either broken and wounded, or healed and whole.
3. Understanding that you have the power to choose. You can chose whether to submit to the healing process or do nothing and remain the way you are.
4. Take responsibility for your life and enforce boundaries- You may not be able to control what happened to you but only you can determine where you go from here.
5. Include God in the process and use resources that can help you overcome.- In my new book, Life After Betrayal: How to Heal, Forgive & Move on, I teach you how to face the pain, forgive yourself and allow all you have gone through to make you better, not bitter. Click here to begin your healing journey today: www.CarlaCannon.com!
It’s also important to understand that healing is a process and it can take a lifetime to overcome childhood trauma, break unhealthy habits/cycles and transform into you were destined to be. However, truth is some days may be better than others but the key is to be patient with yourself and refuse to quit!
Do I have to release my inner child?
I’d say, embrace your inner child and again understand that he/she is apart of you. In therapy I am learning so much about myself that some days I feel like a complete hot mess. But guess what? I got myself out of that funk by declaring aloud, with tears streaming down my face, “I’m God’s hot mess! And He loves me just as I am!”
Take a few moments today to sit and reflect on how you are really doing emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. In your journal draw a line straight down the middle from top to bottom. Then draw a line from left to right horizontally. Now, in each box I want you to write:
Then at the top I want you to write, “How Am I REALLY Doing?” Then in the center, draw a circle and after you have wrote down words that describe how you are doing in each category, ask yourself, “What’s missing that’s causing a disconnect in this (or those) specific areas.
The purpose of this exercise is to bring awareness and awaken you to become more in tune with your inner self/child that is constantly speaking to you on a daily basis telling you what he/she needs however, how you are doing in each category will reveal whether or not you’ve been listening.
***To deepen your study, head over to www.CarlaCannon.com and grab my books, “Beloved: Experiencing God as Abba in a Fatherless Generation” & my newest book, “Life After Betrayal: How to Heal, Forgive & Move On.” These resources are sure to provide greater insight on what you may be experiencing right now and how to overcome.***