Carla R. Cannon-Lawrence, The Trailblazer

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DIARY OF A SINGLE WOMAN IN MINISTRY

As a single woman myself I encounter various attacks on a daily basis.  I not only get approached by men but women as well. My most recent trial (about a month or so ago)  has taught me many things in which I am grateful for the lesson, however, I know it was designed by the Lord to work for my good but was designed by Satan to take me out & force me to give up the assignment the Lord has placed in my belly. Satan designed for me to turn around & return back to what I used to be & what I used to do but say this aloud with me: NOT SO!
 
I had spoke at an event in which I was very candid in speaking on all the Lord has brought me out of, such as growing up without a father, being a teenage mother, struggling with the spirit of homosexuality; etc. After this event, I received many messages, & phone calls telling me how inspired they were by how candid I was in my speaking, & some even shared how they too dealt with some of the same issues in which I had. Well, I truly believe Heaven was rejoicing but Satan was mad as fire & had to stop me before I began to excel in the things of God & draw more people to Jesus. I began to receive various attacks INSTANTLY. I was approached by married men, & beautiful women;  you name it I had to experience it in this short amount of time.
 
Now, that I think back & I am grateful for how the Lord allowed me to go through it & did I past every test? Of course not. But this does not keep me from pursuing the things of God. Trials & tests come to make us stronger & to show us areas in which we need to apply more prayer, fasting & direct commuion with the Lord. My recommendation is having a solid prayer life, see I became so busy trying to help this one & trying to help that one, that I neglected my own needs. I wasn’t praying as much as I used to, wasn’t reading as much as I used to, wasn’t spending time alone in the presence of God as I used to so when the attacks came all at once, I was malnurished & unable to fight it all off.
 
So, what are you saying Carla? What I am saying is we must stop trying to portray this Superwoman image & stop pretending that we can do everything on our own but allow the people that the Lord has placed in our lives to help us. Communicating regularly with your Pastor & mentors (and any other set people the Lord has placed in your life) is vital to help you stand. For they are the ones that are there to hold you accountable & be there for you during tough times. But, due to my many experiences with people I held it all in & tried to deal with it all on my own because I had been burnt by others that I felt I could trust before. So during this trial the Lord revealed unto me more healing that He wanted to do in my life & more releasing that had to take place. See before the Lord can elevate or promote you He has to clean house & the truth is there was still more “junk in my trunk” that He had to ‘gut’ out.
 
My point in sharing this is to help other single women in ministry in an hope of you not make the same mistake I did. With me being a woman full of passion for drawing others to Christ I made myself very much available to everyone  & this was a BIG mistake. See, my heart was in the right place however, I did not use wisdom & seek advice from my Pastor (& also the Spiritual covering of the ministry the Lord has given me) on how to go about doing certain things. I had people messaging me to discourage me telling me I wasn’t this & I wasn’t that & what I did was allow it to enter into my spirit which made me begin to second guess if I could really do what the Lord has called me to do & be this WOMAN OF STANDARD in which I believe the Lord was transforming me into being. Say this aloud: Pass the people test!! See, I allowed Satan to play with my mind & tell me I wasn’t really delivered from certain things because old feelings began to come back & old desires began to resurface & the spirit of loneliness began to set in. So, all of a sudden my vision became distorted & I made poor choices. 
 
I remember being told that there was no way a person could be delivered from the spirit of homosexuality. My mind immediately began to go back to all of the teachings I’ve heard on being delivered & how God delivered; etc. Then my mind went & pondered on the message my Pastor (Apostle Elijah Forte) preached regarding ‘BECOMING DEAD TO IT’, & it was as if the Lord himself began to open my understanding to what my Pastor was really trying to teach us by sharing this message. See, it is so easy to say ‘I’ve been delivered from this & I’ve been delivered from that’ because we experience things in life & God brings us out of those things & for a season we no longer desire to entertain those things anymore. Well, what I have learned is that doing the right thing once or twice is not enough, but we must do the right thing repeatedly. We must love God more than anything the devil has to offer. Haven’t been tested yet? Keep living, & you will!

Sad to say but most of my pain has come from men in the church, behind our pulpits. Ya’ll ain’t saying nothing in here! See some of you reading this won’t be able to receive what I’m saying because you are so busy trying to find out exactly what it was that I did versus taking what I am trying to get across to you & apply it to your own life. Let me break it down to you like this, anytime we do not follow the leading of the Holy Spirit then we are not operating as sons of God & that is sin. Anytime we do not do what the Lord is telling us or leading us to do, that is sin. There were times when the Lord would tell me to get up & pray & I wouldn’t. There were times the Lord would tell me to go on a fast, & I wouldn’t. There were times when the Lord would tell me to slow down & instead of going here & there & to commit to 2 hours of study & I wouldn’t. So, stop trying to identify my sin & know that if we are not obedient unto the Holy Spirit in any area of our lives then we have fallen into sin & must repent.
 
I believe the Lord has prompted me to write via my experiences because people have heard enough junk, & have been told enough lies but we need someone that will be honest & help get us from where we are to where the Lord desires us to be in Him. Ladies I want to encourage you to be consistent in your prayer life, & fasting regularly is vital for it teaches us how to deny our flesh so when temptation comes we won’t be so easy to give in for if we can deny food then we can surely past the ‘temptation test’.
 
Also, adultery in our churches MUST STOP!! I have been approached by more married men, & married Pastors than I have single men. Ladies we must uplift a standard & be bold enough to not entertain it & not want to be a FIRST LADY so bad that we degrade ourselves by settling for 2nd place (because his wife will always be first). Ladies, we must also stop putting ourselves in compromising situations, if you are in ministry & can sing that don’t mean you are to go after every preacher you see! I know it’s a trend for a preacher to marry a singer but baby when God is in the mix that man of God will overlook you with your cute, wanna be seen self & get himself a regular woman that has a prayer life & that is a genuine worshipper for if he is a real man of God he knows the importance of prayer & that is more important than how many notes you can hit or runs you can do! I know some may not like me now but hey it’s happening & needs to be spoken on!
 
Ladies, we must also date with standards! It is time for fornication to stop in our choirs, in our pulpits, & just overall as children of God. It is not okay to have sex with our mate because we are in what we call a monogamous relationship. If he likes you & loves you then like Beyonce said hunni surely he will PUT A RING ON IT!!! It is time for us as leaders to stop compromising & stop calling right, wrong & wrong, right. It is time out for us as single women to stop embracing married men by calling & texting them like he is our new found boo! But we are so quick to say, ‘no we are just friends!’ No what you are doing is opening a door for the enemy because he is very patient, he doesn’t have to get you today but he will wait until loneliness has set in for you, & a time when he & his wife have had an argument & because the two of you are now comfortbable with one another, he may wanna stop by & TALK.   No, sit your hips down & embrace his wife, for if you want to have a friendship or any type of relationship with him then it should include his wife. Don’t get mad at me that’s ORDER! And I don’t mean embracing the wife because you want her husband either! For you should want your OWN husband, not a man that belongs to someone else.
 
And ladies,  stop believing every married man that tells you that him & his wife are having PROBLEMS & he in the middle of a divorce! Baby get some wisdom & know that he will do & say whatever to get what you have between your legs! There are always two sides to EVERY story! Some say three sides, (they side, your side & THE TRUTH!) If a man is married but legally separated from his wife & shows interest in you, be woman enough to tell that man to holla at you AFTER he & his wife sign on the dotted line! Cause at the end of the day, if he dating you but SEPARATED from her (but still LEGALLY MARRIED), you are both in sin because the divorce is not final! Many won’t agree with this because we don’t want the truth & for so long we have made many excuses to JUSTIFY our sins but it is time to call a spade a spade, a duck a duck, and a spirit a spirit!
 
I pray you were inspired on today to draw closer to the Lord & seek him like never before while he may be found for the enemy is always working to conjure up something to knock us out of the will of God. I admit he had me going for a moment until the Lord allowed me to come to myself & I began to remember everyone that told me I would never make it, that told me I wasn’t who God said I was, that told me I would always be a lesbian; etc & I began to think about all the people I knew that were ‘playing church’ & I told God, ‘I don’t want to be like them’. I rememeber telling the Lord, I don’t see how preachers can preach against homosexuality but then sit there with a boyfriend behind closed doors! I don’t see how preachers can preach against adultery but are cheating on their wives with other women (& in some cases women who are cheating on their husbands with other men) in the church! ‘ I told the Lord, I want to be real & I want to LIVE the example & not preach the example. So, everything I speak on trust me I have had some type of experience in that area but know that you CAN COME OUT!
 
We can make it in ministry keeping our legs closed & our hands raised (in worship). We don’t have to smile in every man’s face with a hope of being chosen. NO! We must hide ourselves in the Lord & focus on Him, so when the man God has for us does come, he can’t even approach us without going to God first!
 
Be inspired & know that it is time for us to lead by example & stand for righteousness even when it hurts! It pays to obey & God can’t bless our ministry with us dibblilng & dabbling in sin & trust me it’s not worth it anyway! Let me hear you say: I’M GOING ALL THE WAY WITH JESUS FOR HELL HAS NOTHING I WANT!!!!

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Carla R. Cannon - The Trailblazer™

Carla R. Cannon - The Trailblazer™

Carla R. Cannon, The Trailblazer is a High Performance Coach & Trainer who educates women on how to package their brilliance to bankroll their business while getting their message to the masses!

Carla R. Cannon - The Trailblazer™

Carla R. Cannon - The Trailblazer™

Carla R. Cannon also known as The Trailblazer is indeed one of God’s Moguls in the making. With her eloquent yet transparent approach, bubbly personality and contagious spirit, she is committed to empowering global women from the pulpit to the marketplace on how to operate authentically and un-apologetically in their divine calling with a spirit of excellence.

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