Do you see the photo above? That’s what I plan to do a lot of in 2020; LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH! I admit there were many times this year where I took myself way too seriously which led to me sucking the fun out of activities I should have been enjoying.

Often times, we take on behaviors from our parents or caregivers in our youth and can at times become the very things we despise.

For the last 24 months now I have been intentional about my healing journey and the things I am about to share with you are some of the very things I too had to rid myself of.

I never want you to think that others are so far ahead of you, truth is we are all struggling in one area or another. The key is to work towards becoming the best version of yourself. Therefore, I hope these tips help you and feel free to share it with your circle of friends as well.

10 Things to Leave Behind in 2019:

1. FEAR- Replace fear with LOVE. Perfect love cast out all fear – (I John 4:18) Choose to love yourself more than the things you fear. Selah.
   
2. OFFENSE- It’s time to put away foolish things & stop allowing everything someone says or does to offend you. Stop letting it stick. Like my Mama used to say, “Let it be like water that rolls off a duck’s back.” You must CHOOSE not to be offended.
   
3. DOUBT– Believe in yourself no matter what and know that whatever you desire to do with your life that you have what it takes. Stop waiting on someone else to believe in you and instead believe in yourself! Write this acronym down and post it somewhere you can see it everyday:
   B-ECAUSE
   E-MMANUEL (GOD WITH US)
   L-IVES
   I
   E-EXPECT
   V-ICTORY
   E-VERYTIME!
   
4. UN-FORGIVENESS- Forgive yourself; forgive others; let it ALL go. Leave it all behind in this decade. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you continue to allow someone to mistreat you. But it means you refuse to allow your heart to be cluttered with things that can block your blessings. Un-forgiveness is a blessing blocker and in 2020 you must not allow anyone or anything to prevent you from obtaining ALL God has for you! I used to think smiling at someone I didn’t like was being fake or phony. Now I’ve learned it’s called being MATURE.
   
5. WORRY– Before you panic, pray. Commit to strengthening your prayer life in 2020 by communicating with God on a daily basis. Remember prayer is a dialogue not a monologue. Another thing my Mom would always tell me and my sister growing up, “If you are going to pray then don’t worry. But if you are going to worry, don’t pray.”
   
6. LACK OF SELF-CARE- We must commit to taking better care of ourselves in 2020. Everyone’s emergency is not your emergency. People are naturally selfish and only think of themselves. Therefore, you must implement a healthy self-care routine on a daily basis so you can take care of yourself to avoid mental, physical, or spiritual burnout. SELF-CARE= SELF LOVE.
   
7. PLAYING SMALL– No longer hold back out of fear of being rejected. If people talked about you when you were losing trust me, it will only continue once you start winning. Your losing season was only strengthening your spiritual muscles to be able to handle the fact that everyone won’t like you and that’s okay. Why? Because God not only likes you but he LOVES you. Your remnant is out there but you won’t find them while playing small.
   
8. NOT CHARGING (ENOUGH) FOR YOUR SERVICES- Listen you have helped enough people for free. Now it’s time to level up by valuing yourself more and charging for your services. Then there are those of you who need to charge more for what you do. If you haven’t increased your prices in the last 5 years now is the time to do so. Your skill set has grown and become sharpened and it is time for you to be properly compensated for your services. But you must believe that you are worthy of the rate you charge. Remember God has given you the power to generate wealth. (Deuteronomy 8:18) however, you will never obtain it if you don’t learn to value who you are and see yourself as a legitimate business owner, or service provider.
   
9. COMPARISON- Every time you compare yourself to others or even your previous successes to present accomplishments you rob yourself of the joy that comes along with each activity you were blessed to engage in. Society teaches us that we always have to “top” what we did previously. This new album must be better than the last one, Part 2 must be better than Part 1, your next conference or workshop must be better than the first one. Do yourself a favor and take comparison completely off the table and know this, the more you grow so will your gift.
   
10. NEGATIVITY- Guard your space from negative words, negative energy (which includes negative people.) It’s hard to pursue your dreams when you are constantly surrounded by negative energy. If you are able to remove toxic people and things from your personal space do so. This also includes cyber space. It’s perfectly okay to unfollow or unfriend anyone on social media who constantly posts negativity and you can do so without making an announcement or apology. Now there are some instances when the toxic person is your parent or a spouse and in those cases you may not be able to rid yourself of them completely. Grab your headphones and guard your eyes by listening to uplifting music, Bible app, motivational speeches from you tube or social media.

As we prepare to enter into 2020 I want you to pause to take in all that has happened this year (good and bad). Life is all about lessons and as long as our experiences help us grow that’s all that matters.

Next, reflect on circumstances you handled well, not so well, goals you met, goals you didn’t meet. Breathe all of that in as you journal your assessment onto the pages of your notebook.

Finally, offer to yourself acceptance. Say this aloud, “I accept and love myself for all the things I did right, for all that I got wrong and I embrace the lessons life came to teach me. I refuse to beat myself up because of the times I got off track. I will develop and stick to a plan and when times get tough I’ll rely on my inner strength to push me through. I love and accept me for me.”

Never forget there is a greater one that resides on the inside of you and He shall see to it that the work that has begun in you shall be complete IF you choose to invite Him in and ask for His guidance.